I can't help but wonder what is this feeling I have right now. I just can't find the right words to describe this. It's making things hella crazy for me. I should have known that letting you enter my life is such a big trouble.
I guarded my heart for God-knows how long. But when you came, you remove those invisible walls I build around me. You swept me off my feet. You make me laugh and feel good about myself. I was wondering why is it such a big deal for you to make me happy.
You always tell me you can see ghosts in my eyes. I ask myself if those are the ghosts of my past but I didn't get any answers. I feel very special, very feminine when I'm with you. It's as if I can't breathe any longer when it's time for us to part ways. I can't even hug you as much as I want to. I don't have the right to feel you. I don't have the right to ask if how you really feel about me. There are blur images I see when I look at you and I always wonder what are they. I can feel the pain behind those blur images. I wish I can do anything to ease all those pains from you.
Yes, you matter that much to me and I can't help but hate myself for letting that happen. They say, to end all these questions in my head... I should just ask you instead and get all the answers you can possibly give. But I'm scared that I will not hear the answers that I like to hear. Do you feel the same way that I feel for you? I guess not. ... or maybe yes and you're just damn good in pretending. Oh, here I am again, ASSUMING!
I wish I have the guts to tell you upfront my feelings. But I'm a coward. I just can't help but wonder... wonder of what you really feel. I guess I'll just stay wondering instead of telling you the whole truth and make you scared of the whole relationship/commitment thingy and forced you to leave me behind. Well, I am assuming again, right? But I choose to keep all these shit in me than watching you go away.