I Wonder | Sweet Nothings 101

Friday, January 31, 2014

I Wonder

Posted by Marie Dee
I can't help but wonder what is this feeling I have right now. I just can't find the right words to describe this. It's making things hella crazy for me. I should have known that letting you enter my life is such a big trouble.


I guarded my heart for God-knows how long. But when you came, you remove those invisible walls I build around me. You swept me off my feet. You make me laugh and feel good about myself. I was wondering why is it such a big deal for you to make me happy.

You always tell me you can see ghosts in my eyes. I ask myself if those are the ghosts of my past but I didn't get any answers. I feel very special, very feminine when I'm with you. It's as if I can't breathe any longer when it's time for us to part ways. I can't even hug you as much as I want to. I don't have the right to feel you. I don't have the right to ask if how you really feel about me. There are blur images I see when I look at you and I always wonder what are they. I can feel the pain behind those blur images. I wish I can do anything to ease all those pains from you.

Yes, you matter that much to me and I can't help but hate myself for letting that happen. They say, to end all these questions in my head... I should just ask you instead and get all the answers you can possibly give. But I'm scared that I will not hear the answers that I like to hear. Do you feel the same way that I feel for you? I guess not. ... or maybe yes and you're just damn good in pretending. Oh, here I am again, ASSUMING!

I wish I have the guts to tell you upfront my feelings. But I'm a coward. I just can't help but wonder... wonder of what you really feel. I guess I'll just stay wondering instead of telling you the whole truth and make you scared of the whole relationship/commitment thingy and forced you to leave me behind. Well, I am assuming again, right? But I choose to keep all these shit in me than watching you go away.

10 comments:

Marie on February 7, 2014 at 8:07 AM said...

Bunso, you're in love?

Fernando Lachica on February 7, 2014 at 8:40 AM said...

You accept what happened to you and find another one. I loved your words...sentences...that comes from your heart.

kat on February 7, 2014 at 10:38 PM said...

Oh, valentine's is near. There is a part me who wants to tell you to go and ahead and tell him how you feel so you can stop wondering. If he is scared, he is not worth the trouble. But, do not take my word for it, what do I know? hehe ;)

Chubskulit Rose on February 8, 2014 at 11:20 AM said...

Tell him about how you feel, it's better to let him know than keep it to yourself.

Shekinah on February 9, 2014 at 5:46 AM said...

I got a bit emotional while reading your post. It's the exact same words (or thoughts) that I wanted to tell to a person a long time ago. Here comes throwback memories. Haha! Do the right thing... Just do it. Do everything that you want and can so you won't regret anything in the future. Make the most out of it.

Eileen on February 9, 2014 at 6:41 AM said...

If I were to give you advice, I would say - "Go for it!" There is nothing wrong with making your feelings known. If the guy ignores you, then its his loss, not yours. Girl power!

Riza Acebuche on February 9, 2014 at 9:20 AM said...

I wonder too what you really talk about LOL!

Mommy Pehpot on February 9, 2014 at 3:49 PM said...

if this is for someone you really like, well I have to say, go find that guts and tell him how you feel :)

Denmark on February 9, 2014 at 11:11 PM said...

Go and talk so you will know all those questions. Mahirap na baka pagsisihan mo at dimo naitanong :)

Eliz Frank on February 10, 2014 at 11:45 AM said...

You wrote such a beautiful piece... talk is always a good way to clear the air.

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